"scary" isn't so bad after all . . .

I did something scary this week. I stood in front of a room full of people and did my best to keep them from throwing things at me.

But I get ahead of myself. Let me digress just a bit.

This has been one hell of a year. So many ups and downs for both me and Jamie (especially Jamie). We have felt every emotion possible. And we've grown because of it. It was during one afternoon that was extremely trying, that I decided it was time to get better at just that . . .TRYING. And that's not always easy.

Trying requires that we extend ourselves. That we do things we're not used to doing. That we put ourselves out there for ridicule, embarrassment, criticism, and . . . . growth. Quite often it's fear that keeps us from doing new things, and I was determined to look eye to eye with that fear and see if I could beat it.

So when I found out that Pictage was accepting abstracts for presenters at it's annual LA Partner Conference, I submitted one. I figured it was a pretty long shot for me to be selected, but hey, at least I was trying, right? Well, they did pick me, I was stunned, and I spent the better part of two months thinking, fretting, writing, rehearsing, sweating, working, practicing, trashing, accepting, and yes, trying.

And on Tuesday I marched down the aisle to the little podium where I was to give my presentation. I stood in front of some of the best photographers in the world. I recognized so many of them right away. I just knew they would call my bluff at any minute, and I wanted quite badly to just run out of that room and never come back. Who the hell am I ? What the hell am I doing sharing my thoughts with this group?

And that, of course, is the point. I got through my presentation. I tackled my fear. And I found out just a little bit more about who I am.

So thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who came to hear me speak. It really was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I hope you gained at least some small nugget of information that can help you down the line. Thank you to all of the wonderful folks at Pictage for giving me a chance to do this. Thank you to all of the wonderful photographers that I met, and friends that I made, for inspiring me to continue to push myself to become the best photographer -- and best ME -- I can be.

And thank you Jamie, for listening patiently while I whined about not being able to do this. You were right.

All I needed to do was try.


To all of you. Go try. Do something new. Do something you've always thought about, but were scared to attempt. Make time. Don't wait for it.

It's a pretty good feeling when you do it.



~wj